Beat self doubt or it will beat youMar 04, 2020
Do you find it hard to stick to one thing? Are you not truly committed to doing whatever it takes to properly succeed in your dream pursuit? If so it’s likely that self-doubt is holding you back.
I was about to Marry Sofia. I stood in my hotel room as I looked at my self in the hallway mirror and pinned a pink rose to the jacket that had been tailored for me. I realised that not only did I not have any doubt about jumping into the life long commitment of marriage but that I also felt the same lack of doubt while making many of my big business decisions. But why?
In this article, I’m going to explain why so that you can also understand what it takes to become highly committed and crystal clear in all the business and life decisions you make.
I've now coached over one thousand individuals made up of professionals and entrepreneurs, studied their mind-set and I noticed that what enabled many of them to become highly decisive, take bold action and create extraordinary results was that my coaching enabled them to free themselves of self-doubt.
From this, I’ve realised that there are 3 keys to living a life where doubt does not run us and instead we be the master of our destiny.
Here they are:
1️. Empowered Mind-Set:
If you subconsciously have even the slightest story of I'm not good enough, I'll never succeed, I can't do this, I always fail or something similar then you will never feel clear about any important business or life decision. Why?
Because such thoughts are a clear sign that you have a disempowered mindset. You fear failing and you fear that the world will one day find out that you really are something like not good enough and so you avoid ever fully committing to anything whether it be a relationship or a business venture.
The solution is to keep asking yourself what do I fear could happen if I did this? then again and what do I fear could happen if I did this? Keep going and eventually, you'll find out what the true cause of your fears is. When you see the cause of the fear behind such ways of thinking, you’ll be able to see how unfounded those ways of thinking are.
If you do this on a deep level you will instantly transform and unlearn such ways of thinking that have been holding you back. This is often much more effective when working with a skilled coach but try writing out the answer to what do I fear could happen if I did this? And see what you discover about yourself.
2️. Clear Standards:
Until you set clear standards for yourself you'll let others persuade you into buying all sorts of useless programs or you'll let yourself get involved in unreliable business ventures. Many call this the shiny object syndrome.
In my many years of staying committed to coaching and only coaching, I've lost count of how many get rich quick schemes I've had offered to me and fortunately, I've only fallen for a few before learning my lesson.
During this time I’ve also seen many others fall into the trap of buying many fake promises then getting burned and this is why a lot of ambitious people give up and settle for an employment position they don’t enjoy.
Instead, I chose the way to assured success, a consistent approach with incremental, daily actions to becoming a coach. Not only this but I chose to only coach ambitious individuals while also creating a business that enables me to travel and live the lifestyle I’ve always dreamed of. These were the standards I chose.
It was setting such standards for myself and my life and only taking actions that were aligned with succeeding at this that have got me to where I am now. If you also set such clear standards, you'll only choose relationships with people who will respect you, support you and who will genuinely celebrate your success.
These clear standards have also enabled me and my clients to cut out anyone or thing that doesn't enable us to bring such standards to life. Harsh but crucial to ensuring success and critical if you are to beat self-doubt because all it takes is one unsupportive relationship to seduce you into wasting time and you are off track.
Once you have set clear standards you can ask yourself. Does this enable me to further fulfil my standard of living? If it's a yes, take it or do it. If it's a no, walk away.
3️. Clear Future Focused Dream:
You'll never arrive at a destination if you don't have one in mind before you set off. Simple.
Equally without a dream, you'll also never know what actions to commit to and complete or not. Why? Because you'll never know whether what you commit to will get you closer or not because you don't have a destination in mind to start off with!
The answer is to dream with absolutely vivid clarity.
When visualising your dream future let go of reality so that you don't end up playing small then bit by bit break that vision down into tiny, yet powerful, daily actions and in carrying them out, you'll soon start to see amazing results.
Next is to set up supportive structures so that when things don't go to plan (and they won't) you'll stay committed. Don't spend time with people who hold you back, instead create relationships that empower you and work with a skilled coach who can be by your side for a decent duration of time to support you.
If you implement these three things I promise you that you'll start to free yourself of self-doubt and you'll start to become the true master of your destiny.
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