Being wealthy doing what you want sounds like something everybody should aspire to. But it is, in fact, something that less than 10% of the human race even ever choose to accomplish and likely less that 5% will actually achieve. We are simply not prepared for such a commitment. School prepares us for an archetypal system based on working for an employer on a daily 9 to 5 basis and does not train us for earning a living from doing what inspires us. Because of the education system most aren't even aware of the possibilities of earning money while doing what they love and so settle for lives that don’t satisfy them.
On the other hand, most people keep ‘hoping’ to one day have a more fulfilling lifestyle and there isn’t any shortage of services and products that claim they will take us there, such as get rich quick schemes and other courses by charlatans that want our money in exchange of our dreams and ambitions.
After years of operating as a transformational coach I’ve put together this guide with key steps that will greatly elevate your ability to create your dream lifestyle. If you haven’t yet figured out what your dream life looks like, this guide will also help you discover this as well as finding your passion and purpose. This is the most fundamental ingredient of achieving anything you want in life, and it is completely under your control.
I have seen hundreds of people achieve extraordinary things following the principles which I am giving you on this guide. This information is going to assist you to break through the unfavourable circumstances that lie between you and you creating your dream lifestyle.
1. Having a vision
In this context 'a vision' is going to be a vision of what your ‘dream lifestyle’ will look like. This vision can only be arrived at with clarity if you allow yourself to dream freely without getting caught up in the ‘how’.
Very little can be achieved without having a clear vision otherwise you won’t have one clear direction to move in. As Napoleon Hill said in his famous book Think and Grow Rich. “Anything man can conceive, he can achieve.”
Let’s start by answering some frequently asked questions.
Why am I stuck in a boring job?
If you feel that you are stuck in a job you don’t like, you are simply experiencing the outcome of your past decisions. The reason why you made the decision that now leaves you in an employment position that you don’t enjoy is likely because, at the time, you were worried about having to ‘fit in’ or ‘survive’ rather than be creative and choose what would have truly fulfilled you. Instead, at the time this seemed the most reasonable for you: accepting a job that offered you money and safety.
A better future is possible, but you need to do the inner, transformational work to free yourself of those fears that made you take the job you have now and embrace a commitment to creating a truly inspiring lifestyle. This may not mean leaving your current employment position right away however it does mean actually choosing to create opportunities to work in a job that you’d love or be self-employed and work with people that inspire you. Only after making such powerful a choice would begin studying 'how' you'd achive this. Then some simply planning and actually taking the required actions would begin.
Most people never make such a choice because they feel they need to know 'how' they are going to succeed before even making such a choice. This then leaves most people stuck and not taking any new actions at all.
Watch this video to see three things you can do today if you are stuck in a boring job.
Once you take total responsibility, you can then formulate ‘who you are as a commitment’ (your personal mission statement).
Who are you as a commitment (a personal mission statement)?
You will never succeed until you have a vision. You need to have a vision made up of what your dream life style will look like when you’ve realised it. Following seeing this vision, to fulfil it, you must absolutely commit to it with 100% dedication. To do this the art is to create who you are as a commitment and come up with a personal mission statement which becomes the central point and objective you operate from at all times.
Behaving in a way that will ensure your success (being your commitment) will enable you articulate that vision clearly which will continually inspire yourself and others of ‘why’ you wake up every day. Being a commitment will also inspire other people to become your supporters, partners and clients.
I love to enable people to distinguish who ‘they are as a commitment’. In any given moment, we can either act:
- Based on a past based interpretation of ourselves and of the world around us.
- Based on the future we are committed to creating.
Sadly, most people express themselves based on interpretations of the past.
Previous childhood and teenage challenges we’ve faced such as being disciplined in school, being bullied, parents becoming angry, being fired from work or relationships ending often cause us to experience intense emotions. My years of research and coaching has shown me that, in these intensely emotional moments most of us then go making dis-empowering interpretations about ourselves and the world around us which intensely but subconsciously affect us from that moment onwards. These interpretations always start with ‘I’, the belief that ‘I am some fixed object or thing or I am this body and that I need to label myself as something so I may understand the situation I’ve just survived. These interpretations can be things like:
“I don’t belong”
“I’m not strong, I’m weak”
“I don’t fit in”
“I’m not good enough”
“I’m different, nobody wants me”
Only through receiving effective transformational coaching can we become aware of these interpretations and when we do, we awaken to see that they are not true. Becoming aware of these interpretations causes us to undergo a 'self transformation' which leaves us with waves of freedom and relaxation washing over us as we break free of having to survive a world that we interpreted as so.
During emotional events when we invent such dis-empowering interpretations, it’s like putting on glasses with coloured lenses. At first, the world looks bright yellow (if the glasses had yellow lenses) but soon we get used to the shock (the yellow look of the world) but soon we forget we are wearing them and the world begins to look normal. It’s only when later we remember we are wearing the glasses with coloured lenses and take them off that we become aware of the visual contrast of taking them off. This is the same as experiencing a transformational breakthrough. Up until then, we’d forgotten that this is how we’ve been seeing ourselves and world around us. My clients often express this awakening experience as very freeing.
As a business owner when you meet someone new, you can, for example if you are a 'content marketing strategist' introduce your self from a past based disempowering interpretation (such as I’m not good enough) which will likely cause you to introduce yourself awkwardly and say something like. "I'm in to content marketing". Alternatively if you were to introduce your self while ‘being a commitment’ of what you are creating (such as your vision) you will no longer come across awkwardly but rather as confident, fun and trustworthy.
An example of an alternative statement demonstrating 'being a commitment' might be articulated as so:
Why is it important to communicate who you are as commitment? (to have a personal mission statement or elevator pitch)
Speaking about yourself as a commitment or having a mission statement is not something natural. We are naturally governed by our brains survival mechanisms. Our brain is a kind of calculator which is primarily focused to enable us to survive by regarding pain and intensely uncomfortable emotion as something to avoid at all costs.
You, me and everyone one else has at some point experienced intensely uncomfortable emotion (which is often the outcome of a disempowering interpretation about ourselves and the world around us) then our brain has us avoid situations that may leave us feeling as so again. For this reason our brain ensures we avoid things such as:
Attending a job interview
Proposing someone a contract for work
Asking for a pay rise
Asking someone out on a date
Actively creating something inspiring
Often, if we are to succeed in anything, we need to do things as what I list here, things that confront us (that may cause us to feel intensely uncomfortable emotions again). If we avoid taking these uncomfortable actions, we’ll either be left living a very unsatisfactory lifestyle or be left taking ‘mediocre’ actions which only ever lead to mediocre results.
Alternatively being and expressing yourself as a commitment will enable you to consistently raise your awareness of 'why' you do what you do every day. The awareness of 'why' you wake up every day. It’ll connect you with your commitment and enable you to take those important actions rather than allowing your brain to constantly sabotage you through its survival mechanisms.
Unless you dare to dream 'living the dream', then choose 'the dream' and take actions to actually live your dream lifestyle, you will never get to live it and your ambitions are simply never going to happen.
When we 'be our commitment' we literally choose 'one thing' or 'one product' that we wish to become renowned for delivering. We declare our selves to be 100% committed and nothing less to delivering that one thing. When we 'be our commitment' we become successful at communicating, creating and selling that initial idea. When we 'be a commitment' we don't spread our energies across starting more than one buisness and only take on a second business when we've become successful in the first.
Only when you are ‘being your commitment', when you relate to others from that vision and 'be it now', will whole new inspirational opportunities begin to show up for you.
How do I plan life goals effectively?
Let go of all reality, relax and sit back.
Imagine if you were living ‘the dream’, your dream lifestyle. Imagine you’d taken every action there was to take and made the most of every opportunity that came your way? Now imagine what an ‘average day’ would look like for you if you were living the dream from waking up to going to sleep? Ask yourself these questions as you imagine living your dream lifestyle:
How do I feel when I wake up?
Where do I live?
What kind of a house do I live in?
Am I travelling the world?
What do I do on the weekends?
What car or cars do I have?
Let yourself go and enjoy it. It’s in the detail where you’ll find the inspirational feelings that you’ll need to stay in action. Really allow yourself to imagine things like:
I work three days a week
I take 3 months off in the Summer
I am able to work from home
I am earning 200k a year
I drive a car I love
I am in love with my beautiful wife and have two wonderful children
My work changes the lives of millions of people
I am regularly featured in magazines and newspapers
I am seen as leader in my industry
Now think, if all this is going to exist within 3 years from today, what do I need to do this week? Choose tiny, tiny actions. They must be tiny actions otherwise your visions will become overwhelming, your disempowering interpretations such as ‘I’m not good enough’ will kick in and you’ll be back to being ‘in-active’.
Your powerful action tracker: A specific tool to keep track of your goals and very most important actions
You can use a simple Google Sheet.
Once you've clearly imagined what an 'average day' will look like when you are 'living the dream' it's time to plan it.
To the right, list your 3rd milestones. These are the elements that make up what your dream lifestyle will look like and is what your life is going to look like 3 years from today. Do this for every area of your life, such as health, travel, finances, business, relationships and hobbies.
To its left, write your 2nd milestone list. This is what is going to need to exist one year before the 3-year milestones for your 3-year milestones to be realized.
To the left of the 2nd milestones, write out the 1st milestones (the targets) you aim to achieve in 3 months from today to be on track for the 2nd and 3rd milestones.
Finally, write out the tiny, tiny actions you are going to take this week to get closer to your all 1st milestones (your initial 3-month targets).
IMAGE ABOVE: Is purely for representational purposes. Required are more rows to list two to three tangible goals per category of your life.
Every week, you will check those actions and update the column with new actions to take ensuring that each action is the very most effective action you can possibly take.
What areas of your life should you plan goals for?
Traditionally, self-development breaks down the areas one person can ideally plan goals for. For example, Tony Robbins’ ‘wheel of life’ presents 7 categories:
Family and friends
Playtime, hobbies and fun
Ultimately, the categories you should work on depend on your ideal lifestyle. Before you decide on your categories, spend 15 minutes in silence and go imagine your an 'average day' if you where 'living the dream'.
Don’t confuse ‘an average day if you where living the dream’ with the ‘best day of your life’ because this can be too crazy.
“Relaxing in a gondola being massaged by 15 naked women and then having someone picking me up in a Ferrari to be taken to have dinner with the Queen of England.”
A lifestyle of maintaining this simply isn’t feasible! Instead, think something like:
“I wake up and I feel the warm and soft touch of my silk duvet. I get up, I press a button, I open my electric curtains and see the incredible sea view. Then, I press another button and I open my concertina doors, feeling the sea breeze brushing my face.
I then look back at the bed and there he or she is, the man or woman of my dreams sleeping, and I know they feel safe and happy. I then go into my living room and my two children are running around and laughing. I then take them to the beach for a walk with our dog.
I then have breakfast with my wife and I look forward to later on today as we have some friends coming over for dinner. They are flying in from all over the world for this and I’m paying for their flights.
Then I go to work and I start my car. It’s an Aston Martin and I love the sound of the engine. I listen to the radio, I drive to the city I love working in and enter my office.
My team is waiting for me, we are currently working on a project that is going to transform the lives of thousands of people.”
When you have that ‘ultimate average if I was living the dream’ clear, you can then create a category for each area of your life, such as the ones listed above.
A true entrepreneur doesn’t just settle for lots of money and business results, they continually play full out for satisfaction in every area of their life.
Is it normal for people not to keep track of their life goals?
Yes, and this is the challenge most people face. The reptilian (survival) part of our brain simply cares about us surviving, and nothing else.
When we commit to living our dream lifestyle we become overwhelmed by the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. That gap is then 'the unknown' and as usual, the reptilian part of our brain goes and predicts that it will be filled with experiences as those we never want to endure again. Fundamentally it's the survival part of our brain that fills this unknown with the 'disempowering interpretations' we carry about ourselves and the world us.
For example, from a moment when we were 8 years old, our father shouting out to us something like. "Get your head out of the clouds and do something useful!" Could well be a moment where we invent a disempowering interpretation such as 'I'm not clever enough'. The survival part of our brain then goes to obsessive lengths to ensure we never create results that may cause us to fail and thus experience our selves as our dis-empowering interpretations again.
For this reason it takes a well-formed structure to keep your dream lifestyle and our visions not only alive in your mind but to keep you in action to fulfil them. To create your dream ambitions it's highly effective to 'be' your personal mission statement (to be your commitment). When I'm 'being my commitment' I might introduce my self as. "My name is Dan Warburton, I am a transformational coach. I specialise in enabling committed entrepreneurs and leaders to cause break through results and live the dream." This is also ‘why’ you wake up every day. To give you examples of structures that will enable you to maintain awareness of who you are as a commitment you can do the following:
Have who you are as commitment written down on the line of every page in your diary so it's visible every day
Write down your goals, print them and laminate them in plastic.
Set up daily or weekly calls with a friend or colleague to remind you of what you are committed to and why
Remove yourself from spending time with people who don't support you in you creating your dream lifestyle
Create a monthly mastermind group with 5 other highly committed people
Commit to telling at least 10 new people every week who you are and what you are committed to creating
Due to the survival part our brain, we all easily forget why we wake up every morning and so we easily fall back simply finding money to pay rent. This is, of course, important but if it becomes the sole objective in our lives we are going to be exhausted and feel dissatisfied from neglecting our deeper purpose in life.
No one becomes successful by chance. The idea that people became successful because they were in the right place at the right time is often very far from the truth.
Napoleon Hill studied the behaviour of thousands of extraordinarily successful people and the common attribute in all of them is that they all committed 100% to succeed in creating their dream ambitions and with 100% commitment consistently, regardless of what they faced along the way.
I personally like to have vision boards reminding me of my dream ambitions pinned to the inside of the doors of my kitchen cupboards where I keep my ingredients to make my breakfast. This way every day when I open these cupboard doors, I see them and they enable me to stay inspired and in action.
Every day, remind yourself of ‘why you woke up’.
The power of ‘why’
I have a client who specialises in filming business events and speakers at corporate events. He produces really high-quality video recordings of their events and documentaries for his clients to sell as products or to elevate their branding.
He used to employ people and pay them good money, but then he realised they were only doing it because of the money. They didn't care about anything else and didn’t have a common and inspiring ‘why’ they were doing it.
For this reason, they didn’t have a commitment to deliver the video recordings and edits they had created at the standard my friend requested so he couldn’t employ them any longer.
This left my client in a breakdown in his business. He needed to rebuild the team and in the meantime return to being a cameraman himself while he found new people.
As he was recruiting people, he feared going through the challenges of being let down again. Of having to deal with a team who wasn’t committed.
Through my coaching he realised ‘why’ he does what he does: he discovered that his mission was to film events and create videos that enable people to elevate their business and their lifestyle while also doing so with fun and enjoying the buzz of teamwork. So when interviewing new team members, he communicated this and as a result, he created a team with a sense of unity around this commitment of his.
His team now achieve extraordinary levels of service, their loyalty to my client is extraordinary yet he pays them less than he’s paid his previous staff members. In return, he pays each contractor a basic wage and also gives them free training so they may elevate their own movie production businesses. Now he even has people who work for him free of charge and around the clock simply to be part of his commitment and to learn from him.
As Simon Sinek coined on his golden circle, “People don’t buy what you do, they buy ‘why’ you do it.”
World Peace by one conversation at a time
I had a client who used to work in a company alongside 250 accountants, she specialised in handling insolvency cases and enabled companies to close down operations as financially responsible as possible. The company she worked for was a classically unmotivated financial company and this left her very much not enjoying her employment position with them.
As we worked together she realised she had a deeper purpose. She found that she really enjoyed guiding people through the disagreements that arise when businesses fail. From her experience, she realised that the reason why many businesses fail is that the businesses they sell their products or services to run into financial difficulty and can’t pay for what they have received. On other occasions, they simply deem that they have received a faulty product or inadequate service so argue and avoid paying.
From this she realised what she really wanted to do, that was to coach and mediate people through financial disagreements and enable two companies in dispute to work together to create new arrangements so that they may remain in business with each other and even create a new and ever more effective business relationship. As a result, she reinvented herself as a ‘financial mediator’. She now manages such conflicts and she’s committed to creating world peace one by causing and handling one conversation at a time.
Today, that commitment is the context she talks to people from. World peace is who she is when 'being her commitment'. And by doing so, she has not only saved companies thousands of pounds in lost revenue but saved companies from having to go through extensive legal battles. Instead, she guides businesses in conflict with each other to move forward through their disputes and engage in peaceful communication. This is an extraordinary service she now provides and now absolutely loves her work. She now has a clear reason as to ‘why’ she wakes up every day.
Every single day, remind yourself of ‘why you woke up’.
In part 2, I will cover the topic of passion and how important it is to realise your dream lifestyle.